Metablog.

Blogspot has been down for over 18 hours. Something about maintenance gone bad, with spectacular conspiracy theories floating around. Since I’m trying to avoid thinking about how long it’s been since I last checked my hit count, I thought this might be a good time to muse about how this whole blog thing is going for me. Oh, & for you too. Of course.

Yes, it has come to this: I’m gonna write a blog about my blog, & I can’t promise that this will be the only time. You will see this as either an exercise in ironic self-reference (if you like it) or self-important narcissism (if you don’t). I’m OK with it, either way.

I’ve been writing this blog for a couple weeks now. In that time, I’ve tried to explain what I intend to do, told a joke or two, even ranted a little. So far, so good.

The main reason for doing this at all is a desire to find my voice, to see if I really can be the writer that I have imagined myself to be, without ever really doing it, for so many years. The answer so far is, Maybe. Maybe I can. I dunno yet. But I’m averaging about 40 hits a day, so somebody is actually reading this stuff, maybe even people that don’t know me. That blows my mind.

Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you.

A few months ago, I performed my own songs, for the first time ever, at an open mic thing. Yeah, I know, it was planned by friends, produced by friends, & largely peopled by friends. It was quite possibly the friendliest audience I’ll ever see, & it went very, very well. I was scared shitless anyway & didn’t really enjoy it, or rather, I enjoyed it just enough to want to do it again & scare the shit out of myself all over. The most amazing part of the experience was the realization that there may actually be an audience for my bizarre little songs. Who knew.

I kinda feel the same way about this blog business. I would hope that I could provide wry commentary on life as we know it, the eternal search for irony. I plan to be funny soon, preferably when it’s on purpose. Make a contribution. But at the end of the day, I’m afraid that it really is mostly navel-contemplation. Me, expressing my opinion. Me, writing a slow-motion autobiography. Me, me, me. Hopefully, something of substance will come out of this. That's not for me to judge. I’m just as amazed at people reading this stuff, with the distinct possibility that some are coming back to see what nonsense I’ll drum up next, as I am at people liking my songs. It’s fervently desired & thoroughly unexpected. The difference is, with writing a blog, I don’t hafta stand up in front of people. This is a little easier. Just a little.

Oh hey, Blogspot’s back. For me, anyway. Me, me, me. See ya.